Sometimes you need it.

Sometimes you need to go into work on a day when you don't. Because if you're like me, you end up being blessed.

I was fortunate enough to sub enough last year that I still have a relationship with some of the kids from last year, some of whom are now 2nd graders and 4th graders. They're some of my favorite kids!
People don't often realize when they say 'how are you enjoying married life,' that i don't necessarily have a positive answer. When you take my life for the past two years and examine it, all you will find is major change after major change. Marriage is yet another major change, and it's a little overwhelming at times, and I've kinda found myself in a slump.

And then I get tackle hugged in the parking lot by two precious girls who've been arguing since they saw me in the parking lot about who I'm subbing for today. I get hugged in the hallway by a kid I barely know. I hear "MISS WHITNEY'S HERE YAY!!!" when I get to the classroom. One kid, who probably needs love more than anything in this world, walks up and says he's glad to see me.

Yes, I needed a day like today.

Newlywed life

I know, I know, I know, i completely stink at blogging. Things have been busy.

I got married on Saturday, had a quick honeymoon Saturday, Sunday, and Monday, and now we're back in one piece and doing life. Well. Sort of. We're staying at my Aunt's river house while we get ourselves together/work on me getting a job (which is harder than i could ever describe, honestly).
I'll try to post more on newlywed observations, things your bride wants you to know, etc, but now I'm going to do some laundry and put some applications in and get ready for Wednesday night class at church.

Contemplation.

As I get closer and closer to the time of my wedding, I can't help but be a little overwhelmed by everything.
Recently, we lost K's grandmother unexpectedly. How overjoyed I am to know that I will see her again, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't saddened beyond belief that she won't be there for the wedding.

It's made me realize how badly I'd like to sob over the fact that my uncle won't be there. My uncle was one of the most special people to walk the face of the planet, in my eyes. He passed when I was a senior in high school; him not being there is going to leave a void.

So is the absence of my paternal grandfather, my Papa. I honestly have few memories of him where he wasn't sick, but I know so many stories of things he would do and say. He was generous and kind to those in need. One of my favorite memories of him was asking for ice cream one day when he came to school, and he bought for the entire class, because he didn't want any kid feeling left out. I wish he would be there.

I've been trying to plan a way to honor these three important people in my life, and I can't come up with anything adequate, which frustrates me. Anyone have any ideas?

I'm a terrible blogger.

I'm SO completely aware that I'm a solely at-random, barely-there blogger. I'm doing my best, really, but life...while it's interesting, it's complicated and sometimes best left to rants and raves among friends and not on the internet. But, I'll give you a few random notes of awesome.

• I'll be taking Ellie to see Smackdown in Jacksonville on the 5th, the day after her birthday. Yes, Smackdown as in the wrestling show. She's kind of fallen in love with the WWE, and she loves Sheamus and Kane the most of all.
• Ellie's love of Kane confuses me, but at the same time it doesn't. I think Ellie identifies with any character who looks like an outcast. I mean, she cried during the thing about the misfit toys in Rudolph. But at the same time, this is also the character that set people on fire when I was a kid. I even told her that, and it didn't deter her. Yeah, that's Ellie. Loving the big scary guy.
• As far as I know, South Africa is still a go. And i'm excited.
• I may have possibly decided what I want to be when I grow up. We'll see.
• Wedding plans are still going. Well, we're kind of at a standstill b/c there's a lot we can't do until closer to the time of the wedding. So yeah.
• Sunday School is going pretty well I think.

Wordless Wednesday: They see me rollin'

Things I'm excited for in the next 5 months:

As much in order as possible:

• Going to the mountains with mommy and the adorablings (leaving Friday)
• Possibly going to the circus 
• Starting discipleship with two girls who I love.
• Recruiting another person to do discipleship with two other girls as well.
• Ellie's birthday (the big 8!)
• Josie's gotcha day (9 years! Holy! Moly! Guacamole!) 
• Taking Ellie to her first WWE show (btw, she still has no clue we're going. Recording her reaction and submitting it to Ellen or Jimmy Kimmel or some other person who appreciates funny videos of children reacting to surprises).
• Valentine's day with my fella (gotta figure out what I'm getting him...)
• Continuing the wedding plans (tuxes for the guys, designing save the date cards, getting engagement pictures taken, etc)
• Gotcha day for Zeke
• Gotcha day for Drew
• Seriously guys, can you believe we've had them for a YEAR in March?!?!?!
• Baseball seasons starts (Ellie's put in that she wants to go to more high school games...of course she thinks the coach, who's also her PE coach, is the coolest person to ever walk the face of the entire planet)
• HANSEL AND GRETEL WITCH HUNTERS! (Bit of a Jeremy Renner fangirl!)
• Going to South Africa in May for 10 days (Yes, you read that right. I'm going to South Africa for 10 days in May, accompanying my Josie-Rosie). I'm aware that most people would think I've lost my mind by going to another country for 10 days when my wedding's just 4 months away from that...but you can't argue when Jesus says "go." At least it rarely ends well when you try (I know from experience, Christians. Learn from my fail.)
• Hopefully finding a full time job.
• Helping some precious friends keep up their fundraising for their adoptions (one from China and one from India! Babies and excitement all around!)
• At least one wedding shower that I'm told is being thrown for me by my church family in May. 

Here are some pictures from the wedding dress shopping excursion:

 

I didn't pick the dress I put in here, by the way. Most everyone will have to wait until September to see it! :-)

4 pages of notes later, here I am.

Listening to Matt Redman lead worship during session 2 of Passion, since the livestream of session 7 with John Piper speaking just ended. Lately, I've realized my overcoming need to envelop myself in the love of Christ, regardless of how much I want to be mad and frustrated. My flesh wars against my spirit constantly, as is normal for everyone, but the feelings I have with the situation I'm in currently with various life situations has the warfare feeling very palpable lately.

That being said, John Piper totally ate my lunch with his message. Truth be told, any time I've listened to a Piper sermon, it eats my lunch. Four pages of notes later, I am reviewing my life and examining my motivations. Getting to the last pages of "Don't Waste Your Life" contributes to this as well, I know.
My single, greatest motivation should be to make much of Jesus.
In the face of my life changing.
In the face of soon becoming a married person.
In the face of soon becoming the child of divorced individuals.
In the face of being called names because I have taken a stand to honor Christ and not tolerate when those who I love make light of the calling that I and others have on their lives.
In the face of tribulation like I have never felt.
I am called to make MUCH of Jesus.
Because, regardless of what my circumstance is, I am called to be a servant. As Lecrae said tonight, a celebrity seeks to celebrate themselves. A servant seeks to serve and sacrifice.
My goal should be sacrifice, even in the face of tribulation. Because my reward in the end is 10000 times better than anything this world can offer me.

Romans 8:31-39
What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring him any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died--more than that, who was raised---who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, 'For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to e slaughtered.' No, in all these things, we are more than conquerors through him who loved us first. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present or things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.